I was free
by elena2awesome
Summary: Elsa had finally broken out of her home. She was free. She could finally 'let it go'. Ever wonder what she was thinking? Well, here it is. her thoughts as her power is released into the open.


I, Elsa, ran. Far. Far away from my home. Was it really my home? I was never happy. Never loved. The odd one out. I kept running. My dress tripped me up and I slowed.

I finally reached my destination. Nowhere.

Slowing down to a walk, I took in my surroundings. Somehow I had made it to a mountain. It was so ... mesmerizing .

_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight._

My footprints disappeared as the freshly fallen snow covered them. It was like it was covering my past.

_Not a footprint to be seen._

I was so alone... Anna probably hated me. My parents, watching from above would be so disappointed. I was so alone...

_A kingdom of isolation..._

Was it that different? I was always like this.

_Looks like I am the queen..._

I am not right to be queen. Wind rushed past my ears howling like wolfs... was I safe here? It did not matter. I was a monster I deserved my fate. I was storm that took out everything... and everyone. How did no one notice? It was always inside of me. Even when I was a child. I had hurt Anna...

_The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside._

I had hurt her when I was young and had risked her again. Mother and Father would hate me now. I couldn't stop. I wish they knew how hard I tried.

_Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried._

What had I always been told?

_Don't let them in_

I had opened the gates. I had let them in.

_Don't let them see._

Had I not just showed everyone? How long ago was that?

_Be the good girl you always had to be,_

I was not a girl. I was a storm ... a monster. A freak of nature. The devil had cursed me.

_Conceal don't feel. Don't let them know._

I had failed. They know. Tears welled up in my eyes. I had failed. They knew I was a monster that could hurt them... I felt so alone... I- I was alone...

I was free. Was that a bad thing? I had wanted to tell Anna all these years. I had wanted to leave and be free. Not be a prisoner in my own home. They knew. So what? I was free. I felt a grin wanting to break through.

_Well now they know!_

I looked at my hand. They knew. They truly knew and they had left me. So what? I was alone and free. I could finally be... me. Monster or not.

No more restrictions. It's time. I ripped off my glove and set it free. It's time to be free.

All these years I had built walls of fire, holding myself back. Every day I had to struggle not to relax. To stay tense and alert all day! Every day... Even when I was sleeping. It was time for the walls to come down. Everything collapses eventually, it was time to let them go.

_Let it go._

I gasped in pleasure as I watched breathtaking snowflakes emerge. Was it really a curse? Of course it was... too bad. I did not care for once in my life. I truly did not care. The grin breaking through, I finally felt the last of the tears in my eyes, disappear. It had felt so good. It was like finally eating after 3 days of starvation. It was like finally being untied from ropes. It was like finally sitting down after years of standing. It was... liberating and it was addicting.

_Let it go._

I did it again. This was fun...

_Can't hold it back anymore._

I let my creativity flow and I built a snowman after so many years. I... I could do what I wanted now.

_Let it go... let it go.._

Beauty flew out of my finger tips. It was just as I remembered only more pwoerful. No- no more memories. I start new here. I could finally leave and slam the door.

_Turn away and slam the door._

I was slamming the door on my past, my beliefs, my family. Wait.. I did not have family. They hated me. SO what? I don't care. Let them hate. Haters gonna hate.

_I don't care what they're going to say._

The walls had finally collapsed, all of them. I felt amazing. This is my life now. Why not release?

_Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway._

I was not harmed and I was alone now. No more people. The cold was not an enemy anymore, in fact, I did not even feel the cold. Literally. Never did. So why had I had this cape? It was so restricting. SO formal. I was free. No more restrictions. No more rules.

I didn't need the cape. It was time to let it go. I unbuttoned it and didn't even turn around when it flew away. It was not my problem anymore.

This was all I needed. Some distance from the people and my past. The fear of harm was so small now. I did not fear what I could do.

_It's funny how some distance, makes everything seem small and the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all!_

I turned around to look. A final glimpse of my past and fears. They were gone now. I smiled wider.

I was free. I could do what I want.

_It's time to see what I can do._

It was time to break the limits. Even this gap was not a limit. I release once more feeling 20 times better. Stairs built themselves for me. I cocked my head but smiled. They were no limits.

_To test the limits and break through._

This was against nature... but who cares? There were no rules anymore

_No right, no wrong, no rules for me. _

I wonder... I tapped my foot once again freeing the storm. It was ice... not snow. Hard, amazing ice.

_I'm free!_

The storm is finally out.

_Let it go! Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky!_

The sky wasn't the limit. The air was no restriction. I am boundless as I run up!

I crossed the gap. It was no longer that wide.

_Let it go! Let it go!_

I was happy here... was I? No more Anna. No- I betrayed her a long time ago when we were kids. I was happy now.

_You will never see me cry! Here I stand and here I'll stay! Let the storm rage on!_

I banged my leg against the ground creating a stunning podium of ice. This was my territory now. My kingdom.

It was my kingdom... my kingdom. I can do this. I opened myself up, closing my eyes. I left my monster- no- my magic take over. I was no longer caged.

I felt myself rising. Higher and higher.

I opened my eyes. I was in the most fantastic palace ever. It looked a bit like the ball room.. no my past was gone. This was MY ball room. Why had it become a palace? I was leaving my past. No, it mattered no more.. It simply was me. My power.

_My power flurries through the air into the ground. My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around. And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast!_

It looked... like the palace.. before closing. Why was I so attached?! Anger coursed through my veins. I WAS NOT GOING BACK!

_I'm never going back. The past is in the past._

Time to free of burden. I yanked my crown off. This was my past. I wanted to destroy it. I flung it away.

_Let it go! Let it go!_

I let down my hair like all my worries. I will rise beyond without them

_And I'll rise like the break of dawn._

This dress.. it was so tight. Goodbye.

I raised my hand instinctively. My dress disappeared like it was never there as a ice dress crawled up my body. I did not mind. It was not cold. Goodbye.

_Let it go! LET IT GO!_

Something was missing. A part of me... a cape. It flowed behind me as I willed it to.

I saw my reflection on the perfect floor.

I could believe I was capable of such work. That girl... the one that I had considered perfect was gone. This... this is perfect.

_That perfect girl is gone!_

I walked out. Just to see.

_Here I stand! In the light of day! _

It was dawn.

_Let the storm rage on!_

Dawn meant a new beginning.

_The cold had never bothered me anyway._

**_Epilogue_**

**Now, in retrospect, I was wrong... in so many ways. My walls had not collapsed. They built themselves around my fear. I was not free. I was running. You cannot run away from fear.**

** I could cry and I was not happy. I couldn't be alone like that. It was not my territory. It was cold and barren. It was not the old ball room it was my old ball room.**

**That wasn't me. Arendalle is me. **

**I could not do whatever I wanted. I had limits there. **

**I was not free from harm.**

**I was not hated either.**

**It was not perfect. I know now what is. **

**I was not a monster or a storm. It was wrong to compare that.**

**My past would never leave me.**

**I would feel cold. I had now. Anna had frozen for a minute. I felt ice cold then. My warmth that surrounded me always had fallen right there. Anna was cold.**

**That was not a beginning. That was not my dawn. This is my beginning. Anna, Kristoff, Olaf being with me is my beginning.**

* * *

**P.S: The italicized words do not belong to me. Elsa does not belong to me. Frozen in general does not belong to me. It's Disney's. **

**Reviews are appreciated.**


End file.
